Have this attitude...

I love working out!

2005-12-26T18:38:00.000-08:00

I admit that for a while there I decided to let fatigue overcome my dedication to staying healthy. Not to mention I ate an inordinate amount of chocolate over the last several weeks. Well, since coming home, things have changed. Because my mom is so concerned for my welfare ( and she doesn't want me to get osteoporosis ), I have had four sessions with a personal trainer with two more to come. She has taught me the right way to lift weights, and I have already seen a difference. Only four sessions, and I'm seeing a difference! Amazing! So, I highly recommend to anyone, especially small-framed white girls at risk for brittle bones, work out! Lift weights! It's a lot more fun than I thought it would be.

Strangely Satisfied

2005-12-25T18:08:00.000-08:00

This Christmas season has come and gone quickly, seeming almost surreal and somewhat depressing. I've struggled with keeping a cheerful attitude, and I find that my heart has been weighed down with thoughts of yet unfulfilled dreams. I did not experience the same excitement with receiving gifts as I have in the past. Maybe my thoughts were tied up with school things when I should have been preparing my heart for the coming celebration. Maybe I was too distracted with other unrelated things to fully appreciate what I have. But I am not entirely convinced that this explains my melancholy.

I prayed maybe two or three weeks ago that God would burden my heart for those who have never heard about Jesus Christ. I was disappointed in myself for being so selfish and thinking so little about the welfare of others, especially for those who've never even heard the gospel. Well, because God is faithful, I am beginning to notice a difference in what I think about and how I perceive the world. I am not satisfied with gifts, knowing that I deserve absolutely nothing. I think of those who do not have the privilege of celebrating the birth of Christ, because they don't even know about Him.

I am sorry in my heart that I was not filled with joy on this special day; I have much to be thankful for, including the glorious privilege of being chosen by God in order that I may know Him better. But at the same time, I feel glad that God has answered my prayer. I am strangely satisfied that I am now beginning to mourn for the lost, that I am beginning to really care about others. I have still a long way to go in seeking to put others before myself. But God has proven that His grace abounds to His children, and I know that He will accompany me and provide for me for the rest of my life.

My responsibility

2005-12-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

I feel that over my lifespan, God has lifted scales off of my eyes. And every now and then I feel as if I am seeing Him and realizing the depth of who He is for the first time. Again, I find my eyes have been opened, and I see both what is behind me and what is before me in light of His purpose. How thankful I am that God has seen fit for me to come to OU, be taught through the ministry of the BSU, and know and live with so many of His children who are intent on seeing Him lifted up above all else. Why has he chosen to reveal to me His purpose of spreading the word of Christ to all nations? Why have I been so blessed to hear His word taught by some of the most passionate and committed of His followers? Well, I can only figure that God has given me these gifts so that I can share them with others. What an amazing privilege and commission! I only pray for the grace and strength to endure and walk in a manner worthy of the gospel.

No grumbling or complaining

2005-09-27T15:59:00.000-07:00

Oh, how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when you just want to scream about how much you hate nursing school! How hard it is to have an attitude of praise concerning a circumstance that you feel, at least for the moment, you cannot endure. But...praise God that it is only a moment, and the situations He allows us to endure are for our benefit. I just pray for the grace and strength that only God can give to help me through another year of being tempted to worry.

Lesson 1

2005-09-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

How to let the Lord take care of you; this has been both the hardest and the most rewarding lesson taught me since I've been walking with Him. Throughout college, I have seen the Lord provide for me in many ways that are all according to His abundant grace and mercy -- giving me what I do not deserve, and witholding from me what I do deserve. In my mind I have never worked as hard as I should have, never been as organized as others, never seemed to handle responsibility well, and yet, my wonderful God, my Provider, has seen fit to bless me with good grades. Some may think I am smart or perhaps that I do not worry. Au contraire... Uncertainty gets my goat a countless number of times, and I find the silliest and most ignorant things escaping my lips -- especially when there are a lot of people around, it seems. Most days I pine for and eagerly pursue control of my life, only to find myself overwhelmed and with a vague burning sensation and tension in my muscles. Today was no different. But, today was still another demonstration of God's strength made perfect in weakness. He blessed me again by refueling me with a night of laughing until my stomach hurt, as well as a wonderful peace. Praise Him for He is good all the time...And all the time He is good!

To a wonderful roomate

2005-09-23T21:31:00.000-07:00

Kate, my delightful roomate, and I
We share a whirlwind of fun.
Indeed, with her the time flies by,
and little work gets done.
I love her smiles, her quirks, her growl
And most, I love her wit.
With but one word, she makes me howl,
and I cannot make her quit.

But underneath that light facade
Is someone tender-hearted,
Whose love and hope and faith in God
Bring light where light's departed.
My love for her is dear and sweet,
And praise is on my tongue.
To live with her has been a treat,
A joyous song unsung.

All about me

2005-09-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hello my name is Beef
I am a ballet nut
This is not me
But it could be if I put on a pink dress
and pink shoes
and pulled my hair back
in a bun